I couldn’t believe what I was reading in a post seeking the advice of DebtAdviser this week. Signing his name as HELP, the individual explains that he is $20,000 in debt mainly because: “I think I’m too nice to people.” He had spent thousands of dollars on his ex-girlfriend, has debt from a credit card he co-signed for a friend, and is now wondering if he should file for bankruptcy.

Call me a bad friend (even though I’m not), but when my girlfriends and I moved into our house post-college, I wasn’t even willing to have my name on the lease. Yes, I am probably the one best suited for making sure everyone gets their rent checks in on time—and these are some of my best friends I am talking about here—but I’m not willing to be the one held responsible (especially monetarily) for others’ slip-ups. I have a hard time even digesting the situation that HELP is in!

Anyway, DebtAdviser (Steve Bucci at bankrate.com) gives him a lot of good pointers on how to get back on track and to deal with this debt:

• Your “girlfriend debt” should be looked at like a student loan. You paid some money and learned something of value. Now you need to pay the bill. Your friend for whom you co-signed — who should also be your ex-friend — has created a debt that will not go away, and it needs to be addressed.

• Instead, if you continue to make a payment of about $450 per month until the debt is paid, it would take you only 60 months, or five years, to pay the debt if you have a reasonable interest rate of 12 percent. Remember that in order for the debt to be paid in this time frame, you cannot add any purchases to the balance.

• I know you are living paycheck to paycheck, but skipping lunch out twice a week and putting the money you would have spent into a savings account is a start. That saving would translate into more than $1,000 in a year.

We have talked in the past about how to stay in communication and continue to spend time with your friends even when your finances are tight, but this experience should teach us not to be unsure of our own finances and not to make bad decisions regarding money for the sake of others. The consequences are far greater than the minimal social benefit, which ends the second reality hits and you are up to your eyeballs in debt.

I sympathize with HELP, and luckily the amount he owes—though large—can be managed and paid off over a few years, if he is persistent and smart about it. But in the end, he should have seen this one coming.

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